It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
