if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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