dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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