the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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