I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
