More tranny stories later!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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