yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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