I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
