sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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