well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
We talked him into tasing himself.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize