Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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