it was like his penis was on wheels.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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