Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
