Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
then he tried to convert me to islam
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
