i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Plan B is the new Plan A
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
