So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
