At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
