Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
