just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
