I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
