Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
