just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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