What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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