I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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