He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Dignity is for republicans.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
