somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
