no, he came in my armpit
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
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