In the future we'll all be gay
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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