i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
