Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
