I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
