You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
