White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
