do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We need to get me chipped asap
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
