Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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