I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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