Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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