marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize