dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
pop tarts are not kleenex
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
