I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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