Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
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