You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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