they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
