You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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