What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
