In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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