Got a toothbrush?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Randomize
