WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
