Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
