It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
