went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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