Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
