He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you will always have a special place in my vag
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
