It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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