I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just high enough for therapy.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
