How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
