I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I love you.
Bad choice
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
