How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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