Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
