we're chasing vodka with high fives
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
